“Real story. Real pain. Real tools to help you speak up when it matters most.”

AI-generated Images

Micah was out running errands when her family member called. Her Aunt Lovie could not reach her own daughter and was in a great deal of pain.  Before Micah could finish getting all of her calls out, her Aunt Lovie had called her back and told her that she was hurting severely and that she was going to have to go to the emergency room.  

Micah drops everything and takes her Aunt Lovie to the busy emergency room, where many people are moving about. The fluorescent lights overhead were buzzing as Micah shuffled her Aunt Lovie into the emergency room.  Aunt Lovie was in a great deal of pain.

After the long wait, Lovie was moved to behind curtain three and was greeted quickly by the nurse. The doctor pressed on her abdomen, and Lovie winced in sharp pain. He said something vague about her history and the pain possibly resolving on its own—but it wasn’t clear.

The doctor states, “We will get you some Tylenol,” as they move toward the door.  The doctor stated that sometimes these things resolve, they can go home, and they can come back if it becomes worse.  Her instructions were rest, fluids, and Tylenol.  

As she sat in the car, clutching and crinkling her papers with a bottle of over-the-counter pills, Lovie’s pain persisted. The pain was persistent, and she was unsure of the cause, despite just having left the emergency room. As Micah and her Aunt Lovie left the hospital, they both were wondering what to do now; the pain was not gone.  She needed some relief from the pain.

This type of treatment is more common than one may want to believe. Let’s review now how to take control of the situation and make sure your pain is taken seriously.

---

One of the most common reasons that people will end up going to the emergency room is because of pain. Of course, we go in, thinking that we will be taken care of and relieved from the issue.  But sometimes, that does not always turn out to be true. In cases like this, we need to learn how to speak up and speak out for the situation that we are in.

Let’s discuss ways to get appropriate care and feel empowered going in for care or assisting someone else going in for care.  

Understanding Pain and its Impact

When you’re having pain, your body is telling you something. It’s time to be intentional about your actions and pay attention.  Pain affects people in many different ways, and people have different pain tolerances. Factors that can affect pain include age, medical history, stress levels, and even social experiences can shape how pain is felt and explained.

To accurately judge what a patient’s pain level is, the nurse will ask the patient to rate that pain on a scale of 1 to 10.  Nurses would write this in the patient record before your ordered pain medication would be given to you.

---

Everyday Strategies for Managing Pain

1. Track Your Pain – Use a journal or pain-tracking app to record what your pain feels like, where it occurs, and what triggers or relieves it.
2. Stay Active When Possible – Gentle movement, such as walking or stretching, can reduce stiffness and improve circulation.
3. Use Heat or Cold Therapy – Heating pads or cold packs can offer temporary relief.
4. Mind-Body Techniques – Deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness can lower stress and reduce pain intensity.
5. Nutrition and Hydration – A balanced diet and proper hydration support overall health and reduce inflammation.
6. Follow Your Treatment Plan – Whether it involves physical therapy, medications, or complementary therapies, stick with your plan and communicate with your provider about what’s working.

---

When to Seek Emergency Care for Pain

Make a habit of documenting when you are having pain and what helped it (pain plan). If you need to go to the doctor or the emergency room, having clear documentation of your pain levels will be helpful. 

You Should Go to the ER for the Following:

◾ Pain comes on suddenly and severely.

◾ Pain is associated with chest pressure or shortness of breath.

◾ Pain is from a fall, accident, or trauma.

◾ Pain is accompanied by fever, confusion, or changes in consciousness.

◾ Pain involves severe abdominal pain with vomiting or swelling.

◾ Pain includes weakness or numbness on one side of the body. (stroke symptoms)

Trust your gut. Pain is a way of alerting your body that there is an issue.

Prepare the staff and doctors in the emergency room with the following information:

1. Photo ID and insurance card
2. List the medication (name, dose, frequency)
3. List of allergies and past medical  history
4. Pain tracking notes or logs 
5. Emergency contact information
6. A support person (if allowed) 
7. Your completed “Personal Pain Plan” (if available) 

---

How to Talk About Pain in the ER

When describing your pain, you need to tell the location, intensity, timing, and triggers/relief. You will be asked these and more questions to find out about your pain. The medical person is trying to figure out what is going on with you. According to AHRQ (Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality), if you sense a problem or a lack of attention, ensure your responses are straightforward and clear while staying respectful. Examples of statements are below.

1. The pain is not manageable at home.
2. “I want to be sure my pain is taken seriously; Is there a patient advocate I can speak to?”
3. “Can I get my pain level documented right now and see a provider?”
4. “Are there guidelines here for pain management that apply to cases like mine?”

Be Your Own Advocate in the ER 

As a patient, you have the right to be treated with respect, to be heard, and to receive appropriate care.  

1. Know your rights – You have the right to get relief and to receive clear explanations about your care.
2. Ask questions – Can you explain what this test is for? Or what are my options for pain relief?
3. Request documentation – Ask that your pain, vitals, and any refusals or delays be recorded in your chart.
4. Escalate when needed – If you feel dismissed, ask to speak with the department charge nurse or the patient advocate. If necessary, ask for the staff member on duty who is in charge of hospital operations.
5. Bring a support person – They can help communicate your symptoms, take notes, and offer comfort. 

---

Cultural Sensitivity 

Research has shown that pain is not treated exactly the same way all the time. It varies by gender, income, and race. If someone feels like this may be an issue, the following should be done.

• Calmly state your concerns
• Ask for a different provider to be brought in for a second opinion
• Reference your personal pain plan

Having a pain plan will help increase your chances of receiving compassionate care. The ER can be a very busy place at times. We don’t know what trauma the staff member just experienced or what situation they are about to enter. Your job is to stay focused and get your needs taken care of immediately. Your priority is your pain and discomfort. Help the staff be there with you now.  

After the ER Visit

• Get a copy of your discharge summary. Review it. In the rush of things, you may not have heard all the instructions given.
• Review prescribed medications and follow the instructions.
• Schedule a follow-up with your primary care provider or specialist.
• Update your pain plan based on what worked or did not.

Take Control of Your Care

Our behaviors shape how we respond—and prepare—for moments like this. Of course, when we go to the emergency room, we expect everyone to provide the most ethical treatment.  This plan can work for any medical setting. Preparation and planning apply to both business and life planning. A principle I strive to apply in my daily interactions is that prior planning prevents poor performance (the 5 Ps).  I’ve heard other variations of this, but this is the one that I always fall back to.  

Going in with a plan empowers you to speak up for yourself or a loved one. Be prepared.

I am including a pain plan guide for you to use or use something different as you see fit. You can also keep it saved on your phone to have it always available. Download your free pain guide checklist with additional pro-tips below.

There is a saying that goes, “Stay prepared, and you don’t have to worry about getting prepared.” Another statement I found when doing the research, and it hits right on time…. “It’s better to be wrong than to be ‘dead’ right.” Now, this is empowered healthcare. 💚

Have you had or know of anyone that has been in this situation? What will you take from this article to share with a loved one for the next medical encounter?

---

If this helped you, please share it with someone you care about. Follow for more real-world wellness tips that help you stay informed, prepared, and empowered—every step of the way.

---

Subscribe to get access to the subscriber’s free pain guide checklist with pro tips. No costs—free.

Enter your email address, click on “Subscribe” and then refresh the page. You should be able to see the handout.